Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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