we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Is Oprah even human
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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