we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
