Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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