i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
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