i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
