My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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