Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
