my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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