the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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