I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Drake has all the answers
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
