Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize