So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
