I can't breathe out the right side of my face
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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