I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
