I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
