that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
