my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
