Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
