Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize