would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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