you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
