Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Your cock deserves a montage
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
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