I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
