You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
