with your own penis?
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
