y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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