let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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