So drunk its hurt
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
