Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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