hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
