I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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