I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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