After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
