she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
