you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
