waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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