I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
