You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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