I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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