areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
never play flip cup with pint glasses
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
