if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize