anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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