I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
