I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
