Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Come see our sink grown plant.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
