Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
