Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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