The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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