I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize