He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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