He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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