I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
