i can't believe i had my finger in that
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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