oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i dont even know how to be here
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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