Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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