so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
