No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
