girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize