At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
