found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
