Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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