Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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