i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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