Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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