too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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