don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
