i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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