how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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